Memory Creating the Self ~ Genetic Memory, and my Paternal Ancestors

We all carry, inside us, 

people who came before us.

~Liam Callanan

Memory Creating the Self:

The Paternal

For anyone who missed my previous posts, or are coming upon this in confusion or unfamiliarity, I have a solo show up in Los Feliz right now, called Memory Creating the Self. 

Here is my artist's statement for the show, if you missed it previously:

We are made of memory; genetic, experimental and body memory. We embody that which has come before us, as well as what we have experienced on our journey here. How much do we hold from our own past that we do not remember?

There are places and people we are linked with forever because they have left their mark on us. What is it that we will imprint on others and what will we leave behind?

My work integrates gold metal leafing, which incorporates memories of Thai temples and Italian altarpieces, from my own experience, as well as some deeper sense memory, that cannot be explained. There is a connection to history and tradition that I feel, as if I have been doing it for centuries.

My dad's parents' portraits are the two on the far left, of the wall photo above (The close up shots of the paintings are in the post of the reception here.)

I hand picked music to play at the reception, and this was one of the songs: 

These first two portraits, here, are wedding photos of my great grandparents, on my dad's side. His  (mostly) German/English paternal side on the left, and his maternal Swedes on the right. They were two of my most challenging paintings, technically, but since I love detail they were also a lot of fun to work on.

While painting my ancestors, I found myself talking to them a lot, as I stared into their faces. What do you think about this, me painting you? Who were you? Oh, I changed that tiny thing and now you look my sister! Or, You look just like my dad! And when I couldn't get the likeness, Ugh! Who are you? Help me out here! 

So I guess, in a way, I was talking to ghosts, or their spirits, occasionally wondering if they were watching over my shoulder.

1896   10 x 10"

Oil on wood panel with gold metal leafing

(sold)

1905  12 x 9"

Oil on wood with gold metal leafing

See the detail? I destroyed a lot of 000 (the tiniest) brushes working with so much detail, and on the wood. Loved doing the clothes, glasses, glove and the little flowers.

The small 6 x 6" portraits below are of father of the woman in the top portrait, and the Swedish mother of the woman in the bottom wedding portrait. I think I have that right. My sister is the family expert.

If we tried to sink the past beneath our feet, 

be sure the future would not stand.

~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning 

1851-1919  6 x 6"

When I begin a painting it's loose and rough, just getting in shapes and some of the values (darks and lights.)

The photograph of Henry Alfred Bray, below, was found by a woman whose hobby it is, to go into antique shops and find old photos. If they have a name and a place and even a date, she goes online and tries to find the family. In this case, she found my sister, who is on Ancestry.com. 

The dates, the place and name all matched our Ancestor and my sister framed the original for my dad last year for his birthday. What's also incredible was that this man, as it turns out, is buried in the cemetery less than a mile from my sister in Ojai. 

We spent so much time driving up to Ojai when I was a kid, to picnics or just to get out of the fog in Ventura. We never knew he was buried there, or that he had a general store, nor that his wife, my great great grandmother was said to have a millinery shop up there in the little town of Ojai.

Was that the pull we all felt, or why I like to collect hats?

What are the things within us that we carry, perhaps gifted by our DNA, by our ancestors? Is it simply biology or do they pass bits of their experiences, in ways we'll never understand?

Everything you do,

every thought you have,

every word you say 

creates a memory that you will hold in your body.

It's imprinted on you and affects you in subtle ways-

ways you are not always aware of. 

With that in mind, be very conscious and selective.

~Phylicia Rashad

1900   6 x 6" 

My wall of "Ancestral Memory" paintings ...

The past is not dead.

It isn't even past.

~William Faulkner

Blessings and light

Memory Creating the Self ~ Body Memory

The wound is the place where the light enters you.

~Jalaluddin Rumi

Memory Creating the Self:

Body Memory

12/2008

Oil and gold metal leafing on wood panel

20 x 16"   (sold)

The body remembers, 

the bones remember, the joints remember,

even the little finger remembers.

Memory is lodged in pictures and feelings in the cells themselves.

Like a sponge filled with water,

anywhere the flees is pressed, wrung, 

even touched lightly,

a memory may flow out in a stream.

~Clarissa Pinkola Estes

These were some of my most personal paintings, not only of this solo show but of any work I've done. There were only 5 of these pieces, among the 33 in my solo show, but I think they are some of the most intimate and effective. I did them because they were important for me to do, on a personal level, but I really needed them to make the concept of the show feel complete.  

Here is my artist's statement, if you missed it in the previous post. That post also included photographs of the opening reception, some of the works, as well as a description of how the show was set up.

We are made of memory; genetic, experimental and body memory. We embody that which has come before us, as well as what we have experienced on our journey here. How much do we hold from our own past that we do not remember?

There are places and people we are linked with forever because they have left their mark on us. What is it that we will imprint on others and what will we leave behind?

My work integrates gold metal leafing, which incorporates memories of Thai temples and Italian altarpieces, from my own experience, as well as some deeper sense memory, that cannot be explained. There is a connection to history and tradition that I feel, as if I have been doing it for centuries.

2/2/2009

Oil and gold metal leafing on wood panel

"5 x 5" 

For this group of works, some of the subject matter was of a moment in time, like a CT scan or a surgeon saying "We took a planet out of you," but for others, the memories happened over time, like damage to vocal chords and not being about to sing or find my voice. 

The following piece represents multiple memories and multiple meanings. My arms became thin, poked and prodded, but they also hold and embrace ... my hands hold and create, my palms read in my childhood by my great grandmother ...  

And, just as the gold has it's own meaning (see artist's statement) the fabric color holds a spiritual symbolism and significance.

The words emerge from her body 

without her realizing it,

as if she were being visited by the memory of 

a language long forsaken.

~Margherite Duras

2003/2009

Oil and gold metal leafing on wood panel

20 x 10"  (sold)

1985  

Oil and gold metal leafing on wood panel

8 x 8"  

2/21/2009

Oil and gold metal leafing on wood

14 x 11"  (sold)

Return often and take me, 

beloved sensation, return and take me-

When memory of the body awakens,

and old desire again runs through the blood;

when the lips and skin remember,

and the hands feel as if they touch again.

~ C.P. Cavafy

If you missed the first post on my solo show, and would like to check it out, please click here

The show runs through October 30, 2016

Blessings and light!

Memory Creating the Self ~ My Solo Show

Memory is the treasury

and guardian of all things.

~Marcus Tullus Cicero 

Reception for Memory Creating the Self

September  18, 2016

1982  

6 x 12" 

oil on wood, with gold metal leafing

Here is my artist's statement for the show, as well as the list of works, which continue on the other side ... 33 in all!

In case it's too small to read on the paper, above, here is my artist's statement about the show: 

We are made of memory; genetic, experimental and body memory. We embody that which has come before us, as well as what we have experienced on our journey here. How much do we hold from our own past that we do not remember?

There are places and people we are linked with forever because they have left their mark on us. What is it that we will imprint on others and what will we leave behind?

My work integrates gold metal leafing, which incorporates memories of Thai temples and Italian altarpieces, from my own experience, as well as some deeper sense memory, that cannot be explained. There is a connection to history and tradition that I feel, as if I have been doing it for centuries.

All works are oil on wood panel with gold metal leafing.

For the reception, I made up a playlist of music from the 1920s, 30s, 40s and so on, to fit in with the idea of memory, most of which are songs that bring back my own memories. 

This one, is of Sarah Vaughan singing Come Rain or Come Shine, which my mom used to sing. (And she sang it at the Hollywood Bowl in the 1960s.)

With the exception of two paintings, all the works were painted in 2016.  Because there are so many, 33 in all, I will do more posts with the works not shown here, as well some of the processes and "work in progress" shots. The painting above, with the 66 GTO and Lowliner trailer, was the first one to sell, on the day of the reception.

Along the wall on the left (you can see in the photo above) hung the group of 13 pieces related to genetic memory ... my ancestors. 

The titles of all works in the show were dates. There were many reasons I chose to do that, but one was the sense of time passing and the memories building upon themselves, to create "the self," as well as giving the images more space for interpretation by the viewer.

1948

12 x 6"

(sold)

On the wall as you enter, it begins with my paternal grandparents, Mabel and Charles, and continues with their parents and grandparents.

1934

10 x 8" 

(sold)

And then my maternal side of the family.

At that far end of the room, on the smaller wall, I hung the 5 "body memory" paintings. Probably my most personal of the show. I'll do another post about them next.

Along the wall on the right, opposite the "genetic memory" group, I hung the "experiential memory" pieces.  (These below have all sold)

For memory, we use our imagination.

We take a few strands of real time and carry them with us,

then like an oyster we create a pearl around them.

~John Banville

With all the gold leaf and the pieces relating so much to history, I decided to polish up my 3 old silver trays, 2 nights before the reception! We set the food and drinks up outside the studio. 

1936

12 x 6" (sold)

The day would not have been the same without my 94 year old grandmother there! It was incredible. Here we are, with the portrait of her with her guitar between us, and on either side of us, her Maternal (left) and paternal (right) grandmothers!

Anna Whitney's (far left) mother was Anna Grant. The Grants were from the Clan Grant that originated in the Scottish highlands. We believe Anna Grant's mother was a Cameron, also from the Highlands. (My sister has gotten me even more into my ancestry, these days.) More on the Scottish ancestry when I get to my post about going to the highland games last Sunday, in Ventura.

1867-1944

20 x 16" 

1,100.00 

What we hold in our heads -our memory, 

our feelings, our thoughts, our sense of our own history 

- is the sum of our humanity.

~Richard Eyre

And this one, below, is my Grandma's mother, who we called Gongie, along with my Grandma's  father Julian. Gongie lived until I was in High School and I have so many memories of her so lovingly singing us to sleep with lullabies she'd written, reading our palms and our tea leaves, and telling us stories.

1923

10 x 8"  600.00

Here are a few more of the "Experiential Memory" pieces ... (all three sold at the reception.)

My beautiful (and fabulously stylish) sister brought these beautiful figs from her trees in Ojai, along with the beautiful wooden bowl ... which now sits on my coffee table at home!

It's surprising how much memory

is built around things unnoticed at the time.

~Barbara Kingsolver

1974

8 x 8" (sold)

5/1996

8 x 8" (sold)

Memory is the fourth dimension to any landscape.

~Jent Fitch

Just a few of the beautiful bouquets people brought to me at the reception! 

My sweet work family, who said "If you ever want to do your own show here ..." Thank you Paul and Donna! I'm so lucky!

With my parents, sister and nephew ... I love this photo!

The turnout was incredible and a bit overwhelming.  There were old and new friends, cousins, aunts and uncles, old classmates and my students, and people that I didn't know. There was this big blanket of love and support for me, and for my work.  My friend Victoria even flew in from Colorado! 

The response to the work and the show, as a whole, was incredibly positive.  

My amazing friend Malaika, (we first met when she was my painting teacher at UCLA extension and who has been an incredible help and support!) said it was my best work, and that she was inspired by how personal the work was and how beautifully the show all came together.  I'm paraphrasing probably, but it was great hearing such positive feedback from an artist and friend whom I so deeply respect and admire.

And then ... this.

My sweet 13 year old student Olivia made me the most incredible homemade banana cream pie, which must have weighed 10 pounds. Two of my girlfriends who took the train up from San Diego, for the reception, spent the night and we dug into it at 8 o'clock in the morning, the next day. Delicious! 

I was delirious for the following two weeks but it was all worth it. 

What's next? Actually, I have a few things in mind!

Gratitude is when memory 

is stored in the heart and not in the mind.

~Lionel Hamton

Blessings and light!