Ovaries are said to symbolically represent creativity, but what if you loose one? What do you imagine as being there in it's place? What is there? What do you fill that space with, metaphorically speaking.
When I was sick last year I started questioning the meaning of what it means to be a woman, what our organs mean and what are we without pieces of ourselves that we aren't even aware we are emotionally attached to? (Until someone says, "It's coming out.") So, I imagined that space. What was there, what happened, and what I choose to put there in my mind's eye. What lies in the layers and layers under the surface? Maybe it won't always be "pretty" but to me, beautiful. That is what I want to choose. It's a process.
As some of you are maybe aware of from previous posts, I had some medical craziness with surgeries, infections and miracles last year. I am doing great now but with one less ovary. I realize how personal this is and debated if and how I should go about sharing. The thing is, that my new art is very much born out of that journey.
Some of you may recognize the figure drawing from a previous post. Many of my figure drawings are now going through a metamorphosis with these layered pieces. They are are very difficult to photograph and get the detail of what the layers look like in person, but here is one of the first.
The Dream 2010 Mixed Media on Paper, Vellum, and Acetate, with Ink, sanguine and white conte
Please click to enlarge
Hope you like the new art,
(I wish you could see it in person!)
I will posting more in the next few days ...
Blessings and light,
And may you all be insured
and your lives filled with miracles
and creativity!
13 comments:
So much to take in with this post. So so so much.
The art is moving. The video and your story are equally so.
I have been deeply meditating these issues in the last two weeks. Someone very close to me, who was diagnosed with stage IV ovarian in 2008, had to make another big decision. After testing positive for the BRCA-1 gene mutation, she was estimated to have an 87% chance of getting breast cancer. She had her double mastectomy last week. She is holding on to her job for dear life. Without it her insurance is gone.
Your video sent chills up my spine. I am so happy you are doing so well.
We are confronted with draconian methods of preserving our health, from cutting out organs to coping with the anxiety of pre existing conditions and the ammorality of a medical system that can work miracles or murder, depending on insurance, to coping with our new bodies and our femininity and who we are.
On one other note, there was a strange thought that went through my head. You have a bird named Beatrice and you have a connection to Ojai. The most significant potter in contemprary American history was Beatrice Wood, who spent the second part of her life (she died at 105) in her studio in Ojai. She was the person that the elderly potter at the beginning of the movie Titanic was based upon. I found that interesting.
Buona Domenica!
OhNo....I cannot get the sound on. And I SO want to hear your words. Trying again....
Love the painting. Will watch the video later - my sun is watching Garbage Monsters and there is too much noise :) Hope you continue to be well.
I feel so fortunate to live in Canada where health care is universal. There is no fear when you MUST call an ambulance or have to walk into the ER in the middle of the night. I am glad you are better and although I can't vote on it, I am in full support of health care reform!! Keep the faith!
I love your art. I was sad to hear what you have been through, but I'm happy to hear you are doing much better now.
I also read an earlier post. You made me laugh with your description of yourself after hiking, eating and drinking through Italy:)
I hope you're having a lovely Sunday afternoon.
dear lucinda, your post bought tears to my eyes, i am so sad to hear what you have been through & so glad to know that things are better for you. So grateful that i live where i do & dont have to have the worries of the medical insurance that you have, i take it all far too much for grantd & you have made me rethink. thank you dear one, blessings & love to you . Hope you have a wonderful week x x
I am really happy to know that you are doing well, I didn't know that you had the health problems. Blessings to you. Have you ever gone to see Amma when she is on LA every June?
Lucinda, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that you did. It was wonderful that you parents were able to help you. I hope your words will touch the ears of many to join hand in hand to fix this weak link in the healtcare.
There isn't enough room here to go into detail with my experience from 2 years. The blessing is I'm here and I had insurance, but a case where insurance should not have paid for me, but I'm thankful they did because my medical bills were and continue to be over more than our home.
Thank you for sharing my friend. xo
P.S. I just became one of your new follwers. xo
I wish your video would go to Washington DC. I'm glad you finally posted it....it's so important.
Is your Dream painting a new one? Is it muli-media?
Big hugs. XO PK
I watched the video. It sometimes seems as if we are still living in the days of the frontier, with every man for himself. The painting is very sensitive.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words.
Joyce, I am so glad you are here and it worked out! I know the bills are crazy (and shocking) and it's the last thing you want to deal with when you aren't feeling well.
Theresa, I haven't seen Amma yet ... maybe this June?
And Diana I will be sending good thoughts and prayers to your friend. And I love Beatrice Wood! My sister met her! (see PK Studios above, that is my sis!)
Blessing and light and love to all you cyber sisters out there! ;)
I'm glad you made the video..good job. There are lots of people who don't care who dies---but I do! I am so glad you weren't a casualty.
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